I feel...lost.  Disjointed.  Abandoned.  I think of him, every day.  All the time.  Miss him as each day passes.  I can't contact him.  I had only his cell number, and that phone is about dead.  Has to buy a new one, but has no funds yet.  And so...after barely 3 or 4 texts back and forth on the 7th, I have not heard from him, for 2 weeks. 

He called me his baby girl.  He said he cared.  So why hasn't he tried to contact me?  He has my email, my FB page and my FL page.  But...nothing. 

I want to cut....I promised him I wouldn't, but he isn't here. 

I try each day to put on a happy face.  But each day that dawns, it's harder and harder to do so. 

WTF is wrong with me?  I should be happy with my lot in life.  Beautiful kids, a (mostly) loving husband....but my heart wants more.  Each time I think, yeah, maybe this is what we were looking for......something happens and they leave me.  One way or another.....  I must be...tainted...somehow. Fucked up...broken.

I know he is searching for answers too, right now.  But...CONTACT ME!  I cry each day, not hearing from him.  Each and every FUCKING day!